positive discipline
Forgiveness is a powerful tool every parent should be familiar with. Demanding perfection, not providing any room for mistakes and being too quick to judge can wear away at the trust you share with your teen.
Over time your behavior can cause a wall to be built between your teenager and yourself. I’d like to share some things I have learned as a parent of teenagers. I think you will find that by applying them in your own life you will see improvement in the relationship you have with your teen.
- Don’t Be Too Quick to Judge
Most parents have done this and you may do it too. Sometimes we feel that our children simply never listen to us. It seems like we have told them not to do a certain thing literally hundreds of times and yet they still do it. Then one day our child repeats this behavior (for example let’s use not calling us to say they will be late) and we just sort of “lose it” and “explode” on them.
Later we find out they actually tried their best to call us and there was a real reason why we did not receive their call despite them trying so hard. Then we feel terrible about the way we initially reacted. We had jumped to a conclusion and judged them entirely based on past experience. This time we were wrong. It’s not a great place to be as a parent. So we must try not to be so quick to judge until we have all of the facts.
- Calm Yourself Before You Act
Many times, parents react in the extreme to what they perceive as their teenager repeatedly defying them. Let’s use the example above of the phone call you never received saying your teen would be late. Your emotions can quickly overcome you. You may have been feeling scared not knowing where they were. Are they okay? When they finally come in your fear may give way to anger. Before you even realize it you are yelling at your son or daughter asking why they did not call and you get so caught up in that moment you never actually stop long enough for them to answer.
The best thing to do in this kind of situation is to give your teen a hug, tell them you are happy they are safely home and that you want to have a talk with them later. Then simply walk away from the situation. I know it can be very hard to do this! Walking away will give you time to collect your thoughts. You may even want to write down what you are feeling and what you want to say to them.
Later that day (or the next morning if the incident happened at night) talk to your teen. You should let them know that when they do not call after you have asked them to it causes you to fear something is wrong. Of course, you should also listen to your teenager and see if there really was some reason that prevented them from calling. Then you two can come up with a plan to handle that situation in the future.
- Accept That Your Teenager Will Make Mistakes
Your teenager will make mistakes. It’s true! Making mistakes, and lots of them, is a natural part of growing up. As a parent, I feel one of the most important things you can do is to help your teenager to learn from their mistakes. Talk about the mistake they made. Not in a judgmental way to show them how wrong they were.
Your intention should be for the two of you to figure out a solution to the problem. Help them to understand why it “is such a big deal” and then let them offer ideas on how they could prevent the same thing from happening again in the future. Listen to what they say and offer your own ideas. Find a solution that works for them and makes you feel comfortable.
Positive discipline for teenagers can make a difference in the lives of your children. By forgiving your children and accepting they will make mistakes you will put yourself into a more positive, and less reactive, position. Your relationship with your teenager will strengthen and your trust in each other can grow.
About the Author:
Gary Benjamin has four children. He understands the challenges today’s parents face.
Learn how you can become a better parent with positive discipline for teenagers and online parent support.
Article Source: ArticlesBase.com – Positive Discipline For Teenagers – Learn to Forgive Your Teen
What are some positive rewards I can offer students?
Please give me your ideas for a discipline plan.
I’m thinking of teaching middle school.
middleschool students need reassuring, they go through so much change in their life during those times.
if they do a report reward them with not having to do the next one, say it counts as 2 grades.
if they ace a test, let them teach a lesson in class ,
if they have good behavior buy them a pizza for lunch,
if they carry A’s & B’s all school year then reward them with
a nice gift of some sort, one male and one female. or maybe an ipod .(something worth having)
for disipline for bad behavior,
i would do a money thing, say put a quarter in the bank (and have a bank of somekind in your class room), say quarter for everytime you talk out of turn, 50cents for not doing your home work, 1.00 for disrespect, and so on at the end of the year tell your class that the student with the most outstanding grades and performance will win the money.
if the students don’t have money then for whatever offense they do then take that amount off a grade. whether is be 25,50,100 .
just a thought!!!!!!!!!
