Explaining Absent Parents to a Child
When parents start abusing drugs, it is usually a difficult time for the whole family and more so the children. The latter are most often left in the care of their grandparents who often have to share in the children’s loneliness and pain. The loneliness of the family members is caused by the constant absenteeism from home due to treatment or being in jail. Since it is the grandparents who are the children’s guardians, they are usually faced with the task of explaining the absence of the parents to the children in a way that they can understand. This is often difficult if one does not know the right thing to say.
It is recommended that the grandparents talk to their grandchildren as early as possible about the absence of their parents. This should be done when the two parties are relaxed and alone and the grandparents should never shy away from alcohol and drugs related topics when with the children as well. When talking to a child who is in pre-school, one should talk to them in a way they can understand. Using things they can relate to can go a long way into explaining the situation at hand. School aged children are easier to talk with as they can easily come to terms with facts that are associated with drugs and their effects. When talking to the children, one should ensure that they know the difference between illegal drugs and medicine. When dealing with teens, grandparents should be able to explain the effect of alcohol and drugs on their lives as well as offer tips on dealing with peer pressure.
When a Parent is absent due to imprisonment, the children always want to know the details. Grandparents should always tell the truth because if they make up a different story, it might backfire. Children are smart and they can tell if one is hiding something from them which will ultimately lead them to imagine the very worst and end up being afraid or nervous. Another feeling that could engulf the children is that of betrayal when they hear the story from their neighborhood or friends.
When talking to children, grand parents should give a full and simple explanation of the happenings. Older children are able to deal with the whole story. Since not every member of the family might agree with what the children are being told, it might be advisable for grandparents to tale with other family members first regarding the issue. When talking to the children, one should let them know that they are loved and they will not be left alone at any point. Children who do not want to have contacts with their parents should not be forced to do so and neither should they be let to give up. They can be convinced gently to keep contact via mail or phone. It is common to find some children blaming themselves for their parents’ absence. In this case, one should let the children know that it is not their fault and they had nothing to do with their parents going to jail. As one talks to the children they should always remember to allay any insecurities they might be having. Explaining to a child about a missing Parent is very vital as it contributes to the overall growth of the child.
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